Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Frame of View: Sacrifices of Motherhood

Motherhood requires sacrifice.?

As I play the very unhealthy, yet seemingly inevitable, game of mom-comparison I find that different moms sacrifice different parts of themselves and their lives pre-kids.?

Here?s my list.

I will sacrifice reading.? I love to read.? I have a degree in English?that required LOTS of reading.? My roommate used to say if she read as much as I do, then her eyeballs would fall out and roll down the hallway.? That never happened, but for a few years of my life, I dedicated a significant percentage of my time to reading.? I will read again when my kids are older.

I will sacrifice a neat home.? If I hear you complain about how someone?s home is dirty or untidy, then you will never be invited to my home.? I have two kids age 3 and under.? I know a mom of four who keeps a spotless home.? I envy her, but I will not strive to be her.? I will live in clutter, knowing the day will come when I miss seeing Thomas trains and Eric Carle books scattered around my home.

I will sacrifice peer friendships.? I have an amazing support system within my family?a husband, a twin sister, a plethora of helpful parents.? I interact with co-workers, paid and unpaid, who care about me and whom I care about.? I relate to teenagers?yes, teenagers?who sometimes grow to know and accept me, with my strengths and weaknesses, in deep and authentic ways.? I know there are people I would love being friends with.? I know I could learn from them and grow with them.? Maybe there will be time later.? For now, my time goes to my family, my job, and a bit to my home?and that feels like too much.

I will not sacrifice food.? I love to cook.? I will cook when I can.? I love to sit down and eat with my family.? I will not be like the mom in the film, A Christmas Story, who didn?t eat warm meals so that she could literally wait on her husband and kids.? I will demonstrate that Mom is a part of the family, not the servant of the family.

I will not sacrifice sleep.? Much of this I cannot help.? When I can, I will sleep instead of read or clean house (see above).? I can function without reading the latest Picoult novel or washing those 5 dishes in the sink.? I cannot function and be a decent person, mom, wife, employee, or pastor on no sleep.

I will not sacrifice my self-worth.? For me, this means I will not end up on a Mommy Makeover show with flat, stringy hair, no make-up, and mom jeans.? I will not.? Now, this is a slippery slope, and I don?t wait to slide into sinful vanity.? But, I will remember that while I may have baby excrement under my fingernails at times, I am not excrement.? I will shower every day.? Most days, I will present myself in a way that makes me feel good about me.? Some days, I will present myself in a way that makes me feel great and knocks my husband dead again.

Sometimes I feel guilty about my list of things I will not sacrifice.? I watch moms devote every ounce of their energy to their kids while their wet hair is in a ponytail, and they?re wearing an oversized tee over mom jeans.? I feel guilty for being so vain.? But, my suspicion is that they also have their lists of what they will not sacrifice.

Source: http://angieframe.blogspot.com/2011/08/sacrifices-of-motherhood.html

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